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Thursday, December 7, 2006

sometimes, the conversations you anticipate are not the ones that happen.

sometimes, the hurts you have been holding onto no longer matter. while they may have seemed significant at the time, you can step back and say, 'nope. not critical. nor is it productive to keep holding on to this without speaking.'

sometimes, you have the chance, and the gift, to reconnect with someone in your life.

sometimes, it's about being able to let go, and listen. and if you're lucky, you're at a place where you're willing to hear, and they're willing to talk.

i count myself lucky, and blessed, tonight. i was willing to hear, and he was willing to talk, and i saw a person that i really want to have a chance to know.

sometimes, it's about realizing that, at nearly 40, i still have a lot to learn.

i hope i never stop learning.

:: scribbled at 10:25 PM ... ... o

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

y'know, the thing that struck me driving home tonight (not literally) was the prevalence of lights.

it seems that most faiths have some sort of celebration this time of year involving lights. be it Christmas, Diwali, Hanukkah, Solstice, Imbolc, or other winter festivals, both secular and not - all seem to put varying degrees of importance on light.

and i thought, y'know, when it comes right down to it, human nature is not all that different from place to place. yes, our cultures, our habits, and our beliefs may vary in form. but on some level, the content is the same. it is dark and cold this time of year in many places, and where it isn't, the seasons still rotate. and i think we all want the reassurance that the cycle will come around again, that there will be warmth, and light, and plenty.

and so, candles, and lights, and logs on the fire, as we gather together to draw strength and warmth from each other, to acknowledge and to be reassured.

:: scribbled at 11:29 PM ... ... o

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

oh, crapsnart. for some reason, i thought holidailies started on the 12th.

nuh uh. started on the 1st of December, runs thru the 1st of January.

so i've already missed a day. crapsnart. *ties string around finger as reminder*

:: scribbled at 9:44 AM ... ... o

Monday, December 4, 2006

i've loved Jon Stewart for many years. had a girly TV crush on him for ages, as many can attest.

and tonight, i was reminded of why i adore Jon Stewart so much.

he recently had one of my musical icons on his show - Tom Waits. Tom Freakin' Waits.

wonderful interview. and where he usually has 'Your Moment of Zen', Jon walked out on stage, intro'd Tom Waits, and said that Tom's musical performance was his own moment of zen.

the song that Tom did, 'Day After Tomorrow'... breaks my heart. i've listened to it three or four times thru so far, and broken down crying each time.

the lyric that gets me is this:

You can't deny
The other side
Don't want to die
Any more than we do
What I'm trying to say,
Is don't they pray
To the same God that we do?
Tell me, how does God choose?
Whose prayers does he refuse?
Who turns the wheel?
And who throws the dice
On the day after tomorrow?


:: scribbled at 11:59 PM ... ... o