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Friday, April 29, 2005

y'ever have one of those days where, just when you thought you couldn't handle one more thing, one more thing happens?

yeah. it's one of those days.

much as we had hoped that this apartment would be ours for another year, we did know it was likely a temporary situation when we moved in. and it's now quite temporary. we'll need to move in the next few months, with all the crap that entails. much as i never, ever, ever wanted to see another Penske truck after the last round (for those of you who haven't necessarily been keeping scorecards, hubby and i have moved each other or together three times in under two years), we'll be at it again soon. and with finances still tenuous, this does not engender warm fuzzy feelings for me.

on the positive side, this would likely have broken me a few months ago. it doesn't feel so much that way right now, altho i still can't see how we're going to come thru this. however, just because i can't visualize it doesn't mean it won't happen. we will make this work, and to our advantage if i have anything to say about it. i'm feeling a little 'life gives you lemons, make lemonade', which is to say a bit dorky and cliched. but the alternative is to let the situation eat me alive, which i have no interest in, thankyouverymuch. so. somehow, this will work, and the 'somehow' will become clear, probably sooner than i expect.

and i bought a kickass suit today, so i'll look absolutely spiffing for the interviews. :) amazing how much dressing the part helps move you forward, mentally. (i'm still gunning for a job that *doesn't* require the monkey suit, tho, much as i like this one.) small steps.

:: scribbled at 5:00 PM ... ... o

Thursday, April 28, 2005

i need to put crappier sheets on the bed.

see, i have this one set of flannel sheets that i've had for probably 10 years now. they aren't especially fancy, or even all that high a thread count. but just from years of washing, they've become ridiculously soft and nummy.

combine that with the rainy, grey weather we've had lately, the chill in the air in the morning, and the general lack of pressing reasons to get up early... well. you see what the logical choice is, right? stay snuggled under the covers, and luxuriate in the ohsocomfortable sheets. (don't tell my husband, but it's even nicer when i have the bed to myself for an hour or so, and can stretch out across the bed. i love snuggling with him, too, but it's also decadent to get *all* the sheets to myself.)

needless to say, this isn't the most productive way to spend my mornings. ;) lovely, to be sure. but the to do list isn't getting any shorter. so my brilliant solution? a different set of sheets!

but not just yet - maybe tomorrow. :)

:: scribbled at 4:37 PM ... ... o

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

unconscious mutterings:

Detachment:: serenity
Regard:: observe
Community:: Servings
Strike three:: "Yer out!!"
Congregation:: harmonious
Generous:: altruism
Pretention:: annoying
Pregnant:: a little bit
Drinking:: games
Brilliance:: scintillate

:: scribbled at 8:40 PM ... ... o

as shelley pointed out the other day, i've barely been writing anything.

it's not as if there isn't stuff going on, i just haven't found the focus to sit down to write. and i'd like to be writing; it's interesting to me to go back and reread sections, a few months here and there, to see how life looked at the time.

so rather than sitting here kicking myself for not writing War and Peace, i'm going to try a new tactic: 5 minutes a day. write for 5 minutes, whatever falls out of my head is what goes out there, and that's that. small steps, small steps. better than no steps, yes? :)

speaking of small steps, i had a great couple of days with Little Small last week. it was school vacation, so we had long stretches of beautiful, sunny days to go mess around. we found a great park, across the street from the zoo, where we spent nearly all our time. picnic lunch, playground, ball field, zoo, and hiking trails - plus friends to hang out with, and no real schedule, other than to be home for dinner - about as good as it gets from a kid's point of view, i think. we did go for a hike, and the view across the lake from the high point of the trail made it all worth it. LS did well for nearly the whole hike, which i think was about an hour and a half, altho i couldn't swear to it - no watch. :) we played all kinds of sports, and he even got me to play football, which was a first.

the good weather is also a boon for The Dane, who's back to working outside, and ramping up for the season. life with a vaudeville entertainer never lacks for interest, that's for sure.

and me... i'm plugging along. sunny days are a good thing. they help.

:: scribbled at 12:10 PM ... ... o