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Friday, December 29, 2006

hrm. well, pretty close, for an online quiz. ;)

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.
What's Your Dosha?

:: scribbled at 2:06 PM ... ... o

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

there's something about this time of year that runs counter to celebrating.

it's naturally a season of shutting down, of less sun and energy, of hibernation.

it also seems that the human machine runs in much the same cycle.

there have been several public deaths recently - James Brown, and Gerald Ford, to name a few.

and there have been many private deaths. we were at a wake last night, for a friend who had lost his mother. and at the wake, we caught up with another friend who had just buried his mother. that friend had, since his mother's funeral, had 5 more wakes to attend. 5, in as many weeks.

hubby lost his parents near Thanksgiving and Christmas. i've lost relatives near Christmas.

it seems that there is good reason for burning the Yule log, or lighting candles, or celebrating the solstice. in the face of this much darkness and loss, it seems natural to push back and say "yes. yes, we are here. yes, we will keep going. yes. yes. a thousand times, yes."

:: scribbled at 11:14 PM ... ... o

Monday, December 25, 2006

angesl we have heard on high, singing sweetly thru the night...

oh, my. i got an early Christmas present tonight, or one right on time, depending on how you look at it. halfway thru midnight services, a clarion voice appeared in the crowd. a few pews behind me, to my left, was a curly-haired blond, with a scruff of beard and a red pin-stripe shirt, singing in the most beautiful, clear, operatic voice. many of us turned around to see who was singing, as it sounded as if a cantor was hidden in the back corner of the church.

he sang, beautifully, sometimes harmony, sometimes melody, clearly, and not leading or following, just... singing. singing some of my favorite Christmas hymns, with love. much of the rest of the service was spent smiling, and letting his voice wash over me.

i caught him after the service, put my hand on his arm, and said 'you have a beautiful voice.' 'thank you.' 'thank *you*.'

his voice was a gift.

and every voice in that church was a gift. at some point, tired, and worn, and trying to focus, i caught myself enunciating so clearly as to be ridiculous, and i dropped my voice, and closed my eyes. and i could hear - the communal voice, the voice we create as a community, as a congregation, warm and sweet. and i could pick out individual voices, here and there, rising and falling, each contributing their individual flavor to the whole. standing there, hand on the back of the pew in front of me, eyes closed, listening with my whole being, letting self fall away, i could hear.

Father S, who performed my nephew's baptism, said that there are only two things in life: listening, and speaking. speak with intention, and listen with intention. listen for, not to.

tonight, i found that listening for let so much stress and tension fall away, as i let myself hear, and receive, and fall into the energy that we all brought to that service, that celebration.

that warmth, and receiving it, and having that delivered on the operatic voice of one, the voice of the fellow next to me who had been napping beforehand, the two women behind me, sometimes one then the other, the woman behind and to my left, a gentleman just ahead of me, and then the whole of us, all of us together - that. that was the Christmas present i needed.

Merry Christmas, if you observe - also, Happy Hannukah, Solstice, Eid, whatever you may be observing or celebrating this time of year. namastè.

:: scribbled at 1:53 AM ... ... o

Sunday, December 24, 2006

here's the difference:

sleep - you are *unconscious*, unaware of your surroundings, and your body is recharging.

down time - you are awake, and aware, and participating in something that recharges your heart and soul.

i have not had any down time in the last few weeks. in fact, i can't recall an episode of recent near-down time that didn't involve being semi-comatose.

hey, if you're wondering what to get me for Christmas? down time, in copious amounts. thanks.

:: scribbled at 1:55 AM ... ... o