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Thursday, August 17, 2006

mewfah. scattershot post, because that's all i got right now...

anyone else fabulously underwhelmed by the outcome of America's Got Talent? i swear... the only vote that made me happy was Rudy Macaggi. the rest... feh.

so, i think we should start lobbying for better judges next year - people who actually understand variety acts. here's my slate of judges: Eddie Izzard, Bette Midler, and Teller. or Charlie Frye. these are people who like more than singers, and *get* the breadth and depth of talent out there.

your vote?? what say you?

MedSm has the best aunts and uncles ever. Uncle E took the cake, tho, this year - he took MedSm to his first ever full length Red Sox game. they were both wiped and happy when they got back late last night - and that's all good.

wiped, wiped, wiped... working on the gardens, working up to booking gigs, working thru finances, working on everything at work... and yes, there is much satisfaction in most of that. still. i would *love* an entire 24 hours of sleep.

accidentally picked up a pinot noir the other night, thinking i was grabbing a chardonnay... such a guilty pleasure, the red wine. it will kick my ass, as i like the wine, but it doesn't like me. still. can't recall the last time i had a red wine, and it tastes nice.

love, love, love that hubby made the bed, did the dishes, took out the trash, and offered to do laundry today. have i waxed rhaphsodic lately about my spouse? ;)

still working on planning out our family vacation week - have tons of ideas for plan B days (when it rains), and mapped out a bunch of outdoor/beach stuff for the rest of the week, and am still looking for cool family/kid things to do week after next. suggestions, anyone?

... and i just hit the wall, mentally. *boof* 'night, all.

:: scribbled at 11:29 PM ... ... o

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


so, some days (okay, most), i spend too much energy beating myself up over what wasn't done. and it seems to me to be a useful exercise to revisit what was done. because, let's face it - do you ever not have a to do list? nah, didn't think so. neither do i. there's always something to be done. and while i don't advocate a backwards facing approach, it is good to acknowledge and move on.

today and yesterday were good, positive, productive days for me. i still feel hip deep in alligators. (...and there's an image you don't want to take into the bathroom with you.) however, i have accomplished much, fed and cared for those i love, freed up space, both physical and psychological, sorted thru and let go of physical things that don't need to be clogging up my life, had company for dinner 3 nights out of 4 and loved it, set up a home office space, chosen to celebrate the positive in my life, felt really incredibly lucky, and gotten *thatmuchcloser* to having MedSm's birthday party all set.

as for the sorting thru things - i've decided to live by the rule that i should only handle things once. as in, don't move things from pile to pile - instead, decide what to do before you set down the item. this lead to much frustration and aggravation the other night, as i wandered around with item X in my hand, still, trying to decide. it also led to the gift of feeling lighter, and clearer, and happier the next day, when i saw the progress from my efforts. yes, bills will still be put into the 'to be paid' pile; however, a decision is still made, so i count that. ;)

and as to the feeling lucky: i'm still feeling all kinds of scrabbly about many things. and yet, still, driving along today, running errands, i saw that i have the immensely wonderful and reassuring gift of knowing, deep down to the core, that i am with the right person for me, and that we will always be together. there is a difference between wanting and knowing. i want to be with hubby, and i hope that we're together for many years. beyond that, tho, i know, with (as hubby would say) a moral certainty that He and I are It. i don't doubt that he and i will be together for the rest of our lives. and i love knowing that. that, right there, is the biggest reassuring hug you can get from the universe.

he is so good to me in so many ways... to wit: we don't have much money at the moment (see scrabbly, above). i asked him if he would mind me spending time with Chica next weekend, for my b'day, because i didn't want to step on anything he had in mind. goddess love my hubby... he feels like he's a bad hubby because he can't shower me in things and events. *shakes head* i told him that the emotional ballast that he provides for me (with specific examples) is worth more than any thing. he is the rock in my life, and that, right there, is gift enough. he rocks my universe, and i work every day to give the same gift back to him. work, perhaps, is not the right word, because it's something i take on willingly, and something that i take great joy in being able to do for him.

... of course, i did offer up that a kick ass foot massage would be much appreciated for my birthday. ;)

:: scribbled at 1:00 AM ... ... o