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Friday, December 23, 2005

i miss my grampa charlie.

so many other things flying around in my head, but this is the thing that stuck, as i walked up the stairs.

we saw my mother's parents regularly, so they were, by default, gram and gramp. my father's parents, we stopped seeing when i was about 5 or so. they became, for me, doris and grampa charlie. i'm sure you can tell, by the names, where my sympathies fell in the whole mishegas. it's not as if i had anything to do directly with the cessation of communication. but i was well aware that it was appropriate, even at that age.

here's what i remember about doris: she yelled at me for looking at the cuckoo clock. she yelled at me for tinkering with the piano. she screamed bloody murder at me for going into the guest room and investigating what was in the dresser drawers. mind you, i was 4ish at the time.

here's what i remember about their house: there were a lot of stairs going up into it. the back yard had a lot of stones. they had a neat pond. the inside of the house was ticky tacky (yes, even at 4, i had opinions) in a nasty bluish wallpaper sort of way.

here's what i remember about grampa charlie: he was quiet, and kind. he came in to see what we were doing when my brother and i were playing with the wooden blocks in the middle room. he liked ginger, and shared his candy with us.

i recently dug up a few pictures of charlie. they're up on the side of my fridge.

my parents had good reasons for cutting off doris. she was an unholy piece of work (who, years after, tried to get me to come stay with her, because she knew better than my parents - one of the most solid reasons for hating her - because she knew nothing about me, and only appealed to me because she thought i might feel the same way about my parents as she did, and would want to cut them off).

the unfortunate casualty was my relationship with grampa charlie.

i miss both of my grandfathers, come to think of it. gramp... man. 15 years now, and i still can hear his laugh, altho it grows fainter each year. and charlie... i wish i'd had a chance to get to know him.

amazing what comes up around the holidays.

:: scribbled at 11:53 PM ... ... o

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


got stuff done today, but why is it - around the high holy days, there never seems to be enough time?

more later, if i can schedule time at the keyboard. ;)

:: scribbled at 11:15 PM ... ... o

Monday, December 19, 2005

we celebrated our first wedding anniversary, yesterday and today.

yesterday was the official date. hubby had gotten a nice tip on his gig, so we opted to go out for dinner. and while i'd meant to make dinner, it was a lovely treat. it's been so long since we've been on a 'date' date that neither of us could remember when the last one was.

tonight, i made us a lovely dinner - seared scallop appetizer, butter lettuce salad with lemon/shaved parmesan dressing, steak Diane, roasted potatoes with a lemon bread crumb topping, and chocolate mousse with raspberries for dessert.

the thing that struck me, and (i think) hubby, the most the other night was that this is the first anniversary we've each/both enjoyed, and actually liked celebrating. it was sort of a novelty to be sitting across the table from each other, holding hands, and thinking, 'yeah! this is how it should be!'

i love being married to my hubby. i love him, i love being with him, i love that being with him makes me a better person, i love that we learn and grow and flourish together.

happy anniversary, honey. :)

:: scribbled at 11:33 PM ... ... o

Sunday, December 18, 2005

unconscious mutterings:

Replenish:: hydrate
People:: friendly
Trend:: setter
Girlfriends:: martinis
Spirit:: èelan
Banshee:: Celtic
Oasis:: palm trees
Thrills:: roller coaster
Fountain:: s of Wayne
Boxes:: moving (ugh!)

:: scribbled at 12:15 AM ... ... o