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Monday, November 21, 2005

i'm sorry if i've sounded cranky. have i sounded cranky? sorry.

i looked over the last few entries, and seems like all i'm doing is whining, which doesn't do anybody any good.

for whatever reason, i've got this unholy stew of bad memories floating around in my head, and it's all coming out sideways. i'm contemplating how to resolve some of those by approaching the people involved (this means you, toph, who threw me under the bus without even a second thought, you heartless bastard), and also thinking about how to let go of it all. i mean, really letting go, not just pushing it down and into a corner for a few years.

interestingly, in a related note, i saw an article today on exercises for the brain, and how they make a difference. the idea that the brain is a muscle that you can exercise was, i always thought, a nice analogy. turns out, it's a measureable phenomenon. cool, eh?


:: scribbled at 11:49 AM ... ... o





meh.

so, here's the current state of my (our) upstairs bathroom:

the mishegas that is my upstairs shower at the moment

did i mention that The Plumber was one of the service people i made intimate aquaintance with lately? fortunately, hubby is comforatble doing drywall (wetwall?), and i picked up all the supplies he needs for the project. did i tell you the story of trying to fit a 4x8 sheet of Duraboard into my 5 foot wide car?

*sigh* gah. migraine yesterday, feeling like a crappy parent to Little Man because of that. haven't gotten as much done around the house as i'd like to have gotten done. and the amount of detritus that accumulates in this house... ohmigod.

on the upside: four interviews in the last week, and another coming up this week. stepping past/thru the fear of interviewing is huge. and the more times i go out to interview, the better the odds of landing a job.

scored a free treadmill today. there's a whole story behind that, but for now: free exercise equipment!

in revisiting past entries about this time of year, i'm reminded that the short daylight hours and cold weather bring on the roaring seasonal disaffection. i feel fortunate to have reached the usual point a month later than usual, and to have an awareness of what's happening. doesn't make it any prettier, but does make it easier to tag, label, and deal with.

apologies for the disjointed nature of the entry... late, tired, sad, and plumb worn out.

thankfully, tomorrow is a day to sleep in a bit, and we'll be going to see our therapist, who is a balm to many wounds.


:: scribbled at 12:47 AM ... ... o



Sunday, November 20, 2005

sadly, that last post was only a small fraction of what's going on in my life and my head. :)



:: scribbled at 11:07 AM ... ... o



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