more about me
The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
It started with a simple affection for counting and the terror it induced in others, didn't it? But now it's turned into a full-blown life-consuming chaotic nightmare of order, repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism. You used to be so grand, but now you find yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest things--like, maybe if you don't check the light switch at least once every two minutes, the electricity will go out (and damnit, you're a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or maybe if you don't wash your hands until your seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal disease. Get yourself some treatment.
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
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...okay, so maybe that's a little too close to home to be that silly. ;)
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
'Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,', Ashcroft said. 'They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
'As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle,' Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
'I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence,' the President said, adding: 'Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."
(courtesy of the Cap'n, who sent me some humor email this morning, and Anders Jacobsen, where i found a more complete version of the meme while searching for attribution.)
i have the great good fortune of being with the coolest guy, ever. he is funny, and smart, and kind, and compassionate, and sexy, and just the right person for me, and i'm grateful that we found each other.
he's been amazing thru this whole move. i don't know how i would have done this without him. he pushed on thru, and got things done, and drove the big scary damn truck, and believed that we could do this. love you, sweetie. :)
it's nice to be able to post from here, and it's nice that it feels like home. also nice that it's starting to look like a home, rather than a moving truck that vomited its entire insides in a rather spectacular case of food poisoning. *g*
i've put up a few posts since we've moved, but this is the first one from the new abode itself. we finally achieved connectivity today! the fact that it took so long was a series of misunderstandings, most of which stemmed from me not asking questions. see, i just figured if you could run a phone line somewhere, DSL was possible. silly me. turns out that there's more to the mechanics of DSL than that, and that many of them are not possible when you live on a big fuckoff stone ledge. hard to drill thru that, apparently. ;)
so, we purchased a cable package. yes, we have dish TV (which rocks long and hard for the many commercial-free music stations that play world music all day long. also? NASA Select, baby. my honey is a space geek, and he's thrilled.). we still had to buy cable TV in order to get cable modem. it is possible to get cable modem all by its lonesome, but apparently, 2-for-1 is cheaper. go figure.
anywho, we have nearly everything in working order here. and i'm immensely tickled that i'll now be able to write regularly. hoo boy, howdy, are there stories. i know, i know, i keep saying that... and this week, i can follow thru!! yipee!
i will say this: staying home for the last of the utilities today, i had time to do laundry, and to get the living room habitable. nearly made me cry to come downstairs tonight, and see an end table, with a little lamp, just sitting there in the corner, quietly glowing away. not much notable about that, i suppose, other than the fact that it's the first time i've seen furniture in that spot, rather than a mountain of cardboard. and that's nice. also lovely was leaving the shades down and a few lights on when i left today - knowing that The Dane would come home to a home-like house, opening the door to space, and order, and furniture, and softly glowing lights. wish i could have seen him come in, but it was just as nice to imagine how pleased he was, as he told me about it tonight.
it's all coming together, finally. :)