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Saturday, April 12, 2003

after waking up with the screaming heebie jeebies, i'm feeling a bit more centered.

part of it has come from making the house more home-like, cleaning and organizing. nothing like having crap all over the place and in the way to make you feel a bit unsettled, that's for sure. i'm still trying to find homes for things since gram's furniture showed up, which only compounds my natural 'style' of housekeeping. the fact that the landlord *still* hasn't completely fixed the leak from the upstairs radiator, necessitating a tarp over the coffee table, hasn't helped much either.

and i felt so overwhelmed by all the chores when i got up that i very nearly burst into tears in the middle of the kitchen. i mean, i've let the laundry situation deteriorate to the point where i could barely dress myself. this is not how an adult lives!, screamed a little voice in my head.

so. buckle down. have some juice. dredge up an old pair of shorts, and be glad it's warm enough to wear fewer layers. pick and choose, work in small bits, scrub out the recycle bin, hang a mirror, watch golf and don't beat yourself up for not scrubbing the place from top to bottom.

the other piece that fell into place is this: mourning. i've realized that there are certain things that won't happen in my life. just won't. that gold medal in gymnastics? just won't. that's a flip example; there are more serious things on my list. and i had thought it wasn't a big deal to pass those things by, as there are so many other positive things in my life. but it is a big deal. and it is okay to mourn. doesn't make the good things less good. in fact, i suspect when i'm done making my peace with the one, i'll have more room for the other. make sense? good, because it nearly didn't when that donned on me, elbow deep in scrubbing out my trash barrel. ;)

:: scribbled at 7:59 PM ... ... o

Friday, April 11, 2003

yhgtbfkm, indeed.

Doyce has highlighted another example of something that irritates me beyond belief: the idea that we should legislate manners. c'mon. a kid stuck his tongue out and gets suspended? teach the child that it's not considered polite behavior with something a little more subtle than a sledgehammer, people. keep him after class, talk to him, give him detention and make him wash the blackboard if he doesn't apologize. grrrr.

:: scribbled at 12:02 PM ... ... o

i pop on over to blogdex a few times a day, to see what's piqueing the general interest.

and i have to admit, i was intrigued by the fact that an accordian seemed to play a part in one recent story. so i finally gave in and peeked. (yes, i know. it makes no sense. if i go there to see what's popular, why do i resist the very popular links? it's the 'contrarian' subroutine, and that's the best explanation i have.)

whoofdy. Joey had quite the story to tell, one that had me cringing and nodding in recognition.

Somewhere, Alan Turing's coffin was experiencing fantastic rotational torque.

fortunately, his story has a ... well, i won't call it a happy ending, but close. and it's good to know that there are people around who will put themselves out there to look out for others.

:: scribbled at 11:41 AM ... ... o

Thursday, April 10, 2003

and when you do finally get here, my apologies - no idea, really, why access has been so bloody slow.

mea maxi culpa. :)

updated to say: it's probably connected to the server work over at my comment host. phil has a lovely tutorial on how to robust-ify Haloscan comments, and i'm just too foggy to make it pretty (ie, look just like it does now), so instead, i just lump it. when i have the focus again, i promise i'll make things sweet and pretty for all y'all, okay?

:: scribbled at 3:59 PM ... ... o

still here, just way too antsy to focus on much of anything. and i'm not sure what to do about that, other than a stream of consciousness entry.

(in fact, i had to retype that last bit about 8.63 times in 10 seconds, because i'm not sure if i want to say 'entry' or 'blurb', or something else altogether.)

it's not quiet here for lack of things to say. oh, no. that's not the issue at all. as i'm sure you well know, there are Opinions to be had at pretty much any hour of the day or night around here. and they're free! which makes them all the better, right? no, it's not a lack of things to say so much as far too many things to say. and i can't pin down a one of those ideas long enough to straighten out its collar and plaster down its cowlick, which is its own special kind of frustration. i'm still letting half-dressed ideas out the front door, and hoping that a little 'stream of consciousness' disclaimer will be sufficient window dressing to make it palatable.

maybe it's spring. or the fact that the first home game is right around the corner. or that i have taxes, laundry and dishes to do, and zero motivation. or that there are a number of large ideas (some good, some bad, some just there) bobbing around in my head. or the fact that i spent all day yesterday in a thong and control top pantyhose (both bad ideas, certainly in combination), and by the end of the day wanted nothing more than to kill the small imp who had been crawling up my ass all day.

well. that was waaaay too much information, wasn't it, boys and girls? *glances around* did i really say that out loud?

:: scribbled at 3:04 PM ... ... o

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

this press release just in, on the latest in communications firmware:

VerbaScan 0.2, the latest in home filtronics, is an internal firewall program designed to prevent random stack dumps that can crash unsuspecting network users.

VerbaScan 0.2 redirects overwhelmed ports into non-volatile memory thereby suppressing unnecessary network chatter. This chatter left unchecked will flood all useful bandwidth and cause memory errors that can irreparably damage the user interface and system programming.

Install VerbaScan and put out the fires before they happen.

VerbaScan 0.2 is an experimental application available for beta release. It is a trademark of Random Babble Corporation and not intended for use in southern states including Florida and Louisiana. Mileage may vary depending on sincerity of the network administrator.

the early reports from the field are encouraging, as users indicate improved thruput and decreased static.

:: scribbled at 3:28 PM ... ... o

really, i have very little to say about this weather that hasn't already been said elsewhere, except for this: the Cap'n came back yesterday. from Belize. with pictures. and a tan.

:: scribbled at 12:57 PM ... ... o

Monday, April 7, 2003

is it a sign, perhaps, that my magic eight ball has gone wonky? i keep one on my desk in order to answer burningly important business questions. lately, it only seems to want to give one answer a day. who knew that a sealed system could still fall prey to evaporation?

perhaps i should just replace it with a pig catapult. after all, nothing like thwocking a coworker with a pig to give you that resounding sense of accomplishment, eh? ;)

(and for the record, i expect at least one comment on that first link. you know who you are.)

:: scribbled at 5:06 PM ... ... o

did i miss the memo on this?

when, exactly, did respect for the dead become passé?

:: scribbled at 2:23 PM ... ... o

many thanks to 50 cups, who pointed the way to this little gem:

The Style Invitational over at the Washington Post (you may need to do a free registration to read this - i forget - but it's oh so well worth it). this was just oh so laugh out loud funny - Jeff Brechlin from Potomac Falls in the imitable style of Wm. Shakespeare.

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

:: scribbled at 12:42 PM ... ... o

thanks to my friend brian for pointing out a wholly entrancing new (to me) poet.

i mean, who can't love words like this?

A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.

:: scribbled at 12:08 PM ... ... o